Bipolar Disorder taught me who I am and I’m damn proud of it.
Recently I had an assignment where I had to introduce myself (you know those first-year subjects we’ve all done) and create a profile that gives someone an idea of who I am. I enjoyed it (I’ve added more to turn it into a blog) and I don’t know if I hit the point they wanted but when it comes down to it, I’m happy with it. I decided to share it as it’s a subject that I believe really needs to be talked about.
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Who is Sam, you ask?
I’m going to be quite blunt here and start with one important thing… I have Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder Type I.
You might think that’s an odd way to introduce myself to you but do you know why I’m telling you?
It’s because I’m damn proud.
We live in a world that’s plagued with stigma surrounding mental illness but there’s one thing for sure: mental illness is not a burden and does not make you any less of a person.
Perfectly said by Carrie Fisher:
“At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.”
And that’s the truth. It’s not something to be ashamed of, you should be proud.
Why should people, who don’t know the internal challenges you face, have the ability to stereotype and stigmatise you?
They shouldn’t and you know what… If they spent a day in your shoes, they probably wouldn’t even know how to function. Be proud that you fight those internal battles every. single. day. People might not see it but you’re truly courageous on a level that others will never understand.
Nobody should be ashamed of having any mental illness; they should be proud of the fact that they can function with unimaginable challenges that can seem ‘invisible’.
And when it comes down to it… Why should I be ashamed or someone like me be ashamed for simply having a brain that works differently to a ’normal’ person?
Exactly… Why?
When it comes down to it, it’s just chemical imbalances - does that really call for being seen as different just because the way my brain works isn’t considered normal? Because there’s chemicals in my brain that don’t regulate like other people’s?
NO.
I’ve talked about the courage and strength but I will admit that having Rapid-Cycling Bipolar Disorder Type I comes with it’s challenges but that doesn’t stop me from living the life I want to live.
Just like normal people; I have a full-time job, I’m studying full-time to get my bachelors degree, I do volunteer and charity work, I fashion blog and get creative as well as having an active social life.
So when I hear things like:
- Oh people with mental illness are just lazy
- “Why can’t you just get over it?“
- They’ll never get better… There’s no point.
- She’s depressed, there’s no hope - she can’t be happy
- People with mental illness are dangerous
- Mental Illness is just caused by personal weakness
Well…
All I can say is look me in the eyes and tell me I’m lazy and fit this stereotype. Spend a day in my shoes or someone like me and understand what it’s really like living a functional life with a chronic mental illness. You’ll soon learn that all of these stereotypes are broken.
And I’m just one example - there are high functioning and low functioning people and everyone should be treated the same. For some people just getting out of bed can be an achievement and that’s something to be proud of because YOU DON’T know the internal battles they’re fighting.
The courage, strength and achievements that it takes to live with mental illness is immeasurable - everyone has their own story and their own battle to fight.
The words that SHOULD be used to describe people fighting mental illness are:
- Courageous
- Strong
- Motivated
- Hopeful
- Persistent
- Empathetic & Understanding
Which brings me back to the start - why did I introduce my mental illness as the first thing I said to someone I don’t know?
Because learning that I had Bipolar Disorder taught me who I am and has shaped the person I have become today.
It’s taught me I have an inner strength that I didn’t know existed, it’s taught me that I have confidence, it’s taught me that I can persevere through almost anything, it’s taught me that I CAN be strong in times I thought I’d be weak, it’s taught me that it’s possible to be optimistic when times are gloomy and it’s taught me that I’m always ready for almost any challenge to be thrown at me.
And with that, it’s also taught me my weakness and vulnerabilities which are just as important as strengths.
I always thought I was invincible but Bipolar Disorder taught me that I’m not, and that’s okay.
I learned that even losing an hour of sleep can cause fragility, being in loud spaces with lots of energy can trigger my hypomania or simply drinking a cider can cause me to rapid cycle. But you know what, it is what it is and all it took was a few lifestyle changes - it’s not a burden, it’s just a matter of being more careful, it didn’t cause me to overhaul my life, just to be more mindful and change my habits. We all make lifestyle changes to better ourselves, don’t we?
Bipolar Disorder taught me who I am and I’m damn proud of it.
So if you’ve made it this far down, thank you for reading and all I can ask is that you help to break these negative stereotypes and stigma surrounding mental illness because mental illness doesn’t make someone any less of a person. People with mental illness are fighting their own battles that you can’t see and are still managing to function like a ’normal’ person in their own way.
So rather than put them down, let’s give them support for the courageous people they are.
